Events dear boy, events…

If you don’t know where to start, find a quote!

I’ve been absent on here for a few weeks and the headline sums it up completely. Things happen (shit happens).

I’m sure you all remember I was almost over the final hurdle of the kitchen refurb and I’m sorry to report no further progress to date. Initially I had a break as I was hosting my annual coffee morning for MacMillan. I am delighted to report it was a huge success – well over £200 raised in just two hours. The homemade cakes were totally delish, the raffle was plentiful (and hilarious) and the kitchen was filled with laughter. Initially my Mum didn’t want to come this year (it would have been the first she missed) but we persuaded her and she had a ball while my husband looked after my Dad (He’s not been very well recently). And that was the start of it all…

I think the following week I was shattered and then it was my sister in law’s 40^th – we met them in Bristol and had a fabulous spa break weekend, eating good food, relaxing and sipping cocktails. We got home on the Sunday evening and everything seemed normal. Monday morning I persuaded myself into work and then at around lunchtime, my phone rang… “Hello Nicola. It’s your Mum, she’s fallen and we can’t get her up. We’ve called an ambulance…” . Now I confess, while the Ambulance element of the conversation was unusual, anyone who knows me well will testify to the fact that I quite often do a mercy dash to my parents and until that fateful day, they’ve always been a bit of a storm in a teacup. Not this time. Twenty five hours later, her life support was switched off, I became solely responsible for my poorly Dad and, as I keep reminding my friends when they are a little cheeky to me, I became half orphan. What a day. Then, three days later (thanks to the University Hospital of Wales being super slow with paperwork), I spent my birthday registering my Mum’s death. Happy birthday to me!

That’s it in a three paragraph sized nutshell.

Shell shocked? Yes

Coping? Yes

Grieving for my Mum? Not yet. Simply not enough hours in the day

Things I’ve learnt:

1. Thanks to all the people who think they are “helping” by visiting here and making tea, I now have a kitchen wall splattered in tea stains. It doesn’t come off
2. I’m not sure I will ever be able to look at another cake again in my life
3. I will never again send white flowers to someone who’s “suffered a bereavement”. They simply make the house look like a funeral parlour – if they are not brightly coloured, don’t bring them over my threshold.
4. Families are a pain in the rear and rarely reliable
5. Tea does not hydrate
6. You really find out who your friends are
7. You can be as rude as you like to people
8. Some Vicars are lovely, some are not
9. Funeral directors are basically like wedding planners
10.  I don’t want to open sympathy cards and I certainly don’t want to display them on my mantel – why would you do that? It’s not like Christmas!

So, there we have it! House stuff is generally on hold but, to save my own sanity, I am still posting on Instagram when I have a moment and going to work for at least a couple of hours each day.

Normality is the key to my sanity right now.

Fast forward to today…

The funeral was two days ago. I organised all our outfits, brightly coloured flowers to top the coffin (orange and fuchsia coloured  gerberas, if you’re interested), more cakes and my support network of friends was (and continues to be) on high alert. Everything went smoothly, apart from the weather – it was raining cats and dogs. I’ve realised organising a funeral is much like organising a wedding without the RSVP’s, so you have no idea how many cakes to order.

Hopefully I’ll see you all soon with tales of kitchen cupboards, paint, colours and DIY  – Please, please let normality return soon!

Thanks for reading.

Nicola

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